Media

MY NAME IS BOND

Christian Grey doesn’t live in E L James’ head. Mirror spends an evening with a banker and BDSM practitioner.

In a bout of desperation last year, Martin Jones began applying to classified ads that sought household help. “When speaking to the women on phone, I’d slip power to them, saying, ‘I’ll do any work you tell me to’,” says the 30-year-old Mumbai-based banker about dialling affluent homes in south Mumbai and Versova.

Ever wondered why it’s so hard for you to stay in a relationship? Are you just plain unlucky in love or are you subconsciously engaging in behaviour that sabotages your chances at finding true love and holding on to it? It’s possible that your thoughts and actions are influenced by the subconscious memories of childhood neglect or abuse — and that, whether you know it or not, you’re driving people away. Neglect has long been seen as a particularly potent form of child abuse and its impact can be felt well into adulthood.

OVER THE SHOULDER, OUT OF THE CLOSET

How will the popcorn-munching first-bencher in PVR Cinema receive an 18-minute documentary showcasing intensely personal narratives of homosexuals, including queer icons such as Rajpipala’s Manvendra Singh Gohil? Filmmaker Nayantara Roy is currently mulling over the implications of a ‘public’ release of her upcoming documentary Over the Shoulder, which probes into the impact of the repealing of Section 377 of the IPC (that which criminalises homosexuality).

MIRROR ROUNDTABLE

Should rapists be castrated or should they be hanged? Or is the current provision for punishment in our laws enough? Is there something really wrong with the way we are bringing up our boys? Do they grow up with a special sense of entitlement over women? Can we as a society make sure a rapist is shorn of his honour and not the victim? Can rapes be stopped when our response to sexual harassment is so cavalier?

The Delhi gang rape has stirred a nation’s conscience. But there are more questions than there are answers, more noise than debate, and two stupid politicians for every voice of reason.

Why do Men Diet Secretly?

Eating salads and soup in private, men, say fitness consultants, are embarrassed to admit they are on a diet

Hundreds of media reports about the metrosexual man be damned. If you thought if was easy for a guy to sit at a table with his buddies and order a gazpacho and tuna avocado salad while the rest dug into double steak buns, you are wrong.

Psychology Behind Love

Love is a timeless emotion. No one really knows why it happens. Why do we Love? But the fact is that for generations mankind has felt this supreme emotion.
But, today love has a different meaning to it… Or maybe it seems so. But What has happened? Why is it that every relationship is going thru rough patches? What has happened to Love? What is so special about 21st century that love not only deteriorates but also turns painful & violent. In order to answer these questions, a new reality show has taken birth “Psychology Behind Love”.

Going Mental with Manisha Koirala

Mirror reader Deepak Kashyap,26,is fond of Manisha Koirala,and talks eagerly of her performances in Khamoshi,Bombay,Lajja and Dil Se,while waiting for the actor in the airy living room of her Versova apartment.
Little does he know that on learning of his profession Kashyap is a practising psychotherapist Koirala will turn the conversation to psychology.Whats the difference between psychiatrist and a psychologist she begins.
Psychiatrists study MBBS and can prescribe medication to patients.Psychologists specialise in talk therapy.I deal with emotional disturbances and personality disorders through cognitive behavioural therapy, says Kashyap.
Refusing to talk about her films,Koirala slips into a conversation about famous psychoanalysts Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung.Did you watch the movie on them she asks.Yes its called A Dangerous Method (2011), replies Kashyap,laughing.Whats the difference between what Freud and Jung said asks Koirala.Freud was the one who talked of the Oedipus complex,but Jung took a more symbolic approach and didnt think that sexuality was central to understanding the psyche, explains Kashyap.
I also think that Freuds theories allow room for mysticism,and that which could not be explained logically, adds Koirala,referring perhaps to Freuds dream analysis theories.But Kashyap has a rejoinder.Most prominent psychologists today,like Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck have rejected Freuds theories.For example,Freud proclaimed that a dominant mother and a passive father led a male child to turn homosexual.If that was the case,every second house in India would have a homosexual child. Koirala,a keen listener,is clearly enjoying the conversation.But the irrepressible fan in Kashyap cant stay silent for long.
There are very few actors,who can do as many roles as you have with integrity.Not many actresses today would be able to do films like Khamoshi and Lajja.I was reduced to tears after watching Bombay, says Kashyap.
He is curious to learn what made Koirala choose Ram Gopal Varmas Bhoot Returns.
Ramu and I were chatting about a bunch of issues,one day.He said he had a script written and wanted me to have a look at it.I read and liked it,so I signed it, says Koirala,simply.
Kashyap asks if she believes in ghosts.After pausing for beat,Koirala replies,Honestly,I dont.But I do believe that we are all forms of energy.A ghost is perhaps a different kind of energy.
Ramu has been a friend after Company.We stayed in touch,though we did not work together for many years.He and I speak about various things politics,Freud and Jung.He is an atheist and a huge Ayn Rand fan like me, she adds.
As the conversation winds up,Kashyap notices a painting hanging on the wall.It depicts a woman and a man standing besides her with an outstretched arm.He asks her to interpret the painting.It shows a woman defying a man.The man is in the shadows and wants to own her,but she has more on her mind than him, she replies.
We ask her if this bears a similarity to her life,and she laughs.No it has got nothing to do with me.The painting was made by my close friend Laila Khan,and I love her work

The new foot soldiers of Queer Azadi

I would have spoken to your mother had she been alive.”

Overwhelmed by the statement, Gulati reportedly resumed shooting the film a year-and-a-half later. Shot over five years, I AM documents the lives of queer Indian men and women and their parents, taking off from the 38 year-old filmmaker’s own anguish of never having come out as a lesbian to her mother when she was alive.

Balbir Krishan loves Balbir Krishan

A gay artist from UP and his Delhi-based actor lover dropped one half of their birth names, replacing it with each other’s first names, to take on identical titles.

In Kolkata, producer Biswajit Baruah is now Hochi Minh. Purba Dutt investigates the curious case of the adult Indian name change.

Homosexuality doesn’t need to be Cured

He responds to the burning question of the day, is homosexuality a disease that can be cured, with a resounding no.

There are areas of difference between humans over which we have little control like the colour of our eyes and skin. Our ethnicity and race. The sex we are born into. Our sexual experience and expression. Perhaps more than any of the others, it’s the last that leaves us feeling most ashamed and apologetic about.

Busting the myths about Homosexuality

Are all effeminate guys gay? Why are so many gay guys effeminate?
No, not all gay people are effeminate. There are many “masculine” boys and men who are gay as well. It’s just that effeminacy in a man gives him more visibility compared to the “masculine stereotype of a man”, which helps them blend in with the crowd. Some men who are gay might consciously hide their homosexuality behind the same masculine façade in a more successful way, or so they think, compared to others who can’t help but be visible. That’s also a fortunate reason that most gay rights movements around the world, from Stonewall to Humsafar Trust in India, by people who can’t help but be and look themselves.

No hush-hush Valentines Day Any More

Pune: For the LGBT (lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders) community of the city, the V-Day seems to be the perfect podium to be true to the heart and celebrate their love with their partners.

Especially, after the Delhi high court decriminalised same-sex relations between consenting adults a couple of years ago, it has been a relief for the LGBT to come out in the open and express their love.

This V-Day turned out to be a perfect podium to express and rejuvenate the feeling of love with their partners. When DNA spoke to few of these individuals, they seemed all elated and geared up for the day.

Deepak Kashyap, a psychologist by profession, who got engaged to his gay partner Jerry Johnson, has planned an exclusive dinner with his partner. “We have been together since three years and got engaged to each other on New Year’s Eve.

V-Day is a day to assert and articulate our love in words and actions helps take time away to bring out that love in the forefront from the background. The background that supports and guides us in all our challenges and cherishing moments,’’ Deepak told DNA.

“Gone are the days when there were hardly any LGBT people who expressed love on Valentine’s Day. Now, times are changing, and love is growing, and so is exhibitionism of it. Gay, Lesbian, Straight are just tags,” said Harish Iyer, a creative professional.

All’s not gay after Ghulam Nabi Azad’s Homophobic Barb

Two years after the landmark Delhi high court ruling that decriminalised homosexuality between consenting adults, the Lesbaian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community is set to the streets once again. But this time, it won’t be in celebration but in protest against the Indian health minister Ghulam Nabi Azad’s recent ‘homophobic’ comments.

Gay, Happy and Sad

The living room of their two-bedroom apartment in upmarket Mumbai is redolent with the fragrance of lilies. Siddharth, a software businessman, sits with his feet up on a wooden bench across from his partner, Kunal, an interior designer, reclining in an elegant easy chair.

Happy and Gay days ahead

Being a psychologist by profession, I’ve seen how the new ruling changed the lives of homosexuals. Now, many gays come out and seek help. Previously, there weren’t very many who would do so despite facing various forms of hostility. Besides, we as counselors or psychologists could not reach out to them either, because the law did not permit us to do so. So, the High Court’s decision has unquestionably been beneficial to this community.

Socio-psychological challenges of coming out of the closet

What goes on in the mind of a gay/lesbian person when he/she are indecisive about being open about their sexuality?
The questions that first arise in the mind of a gay or a lesbian are – Am I alright? Am I the only one like this or are there others like me? Am I going against the laws of nature? There is a lot of self-doubt, which is followed by introspection.